David Barr Kirtley

Science fiction author and podcaster

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My Short Story “Beauty” to Appear in Lightspeed Magazine

December 6, 2011 by David Barr Kirtley Leave a Comment

My short story “Beauty,” a twisted modern-day retelling of “Beauty and the Beast,” will appear in an upcoming issue of Lightspeed. This is the story that I read at Borders last year. Here’s a snippet:

     “Yeah, I mean, things used to be a lot better there, before the whole, you know…” He gestured at his appearance.
     “Oh,” Nicole said. “So it’s…”
     “A spell.” The beast nodded wearily. “Yeah. I actually used to be pretty handsome, if you can believe that.”
     “So what happened?”
     He lowered his voice. “I was cursed by an evil sorceress.” He held up his huge paws. “She turned me into this.”
     Nicole gasped. “That’s horrible.”
     The beast sighed. “Oh, it’s not so bad. I have some magic talking furniture that keeps me company. It’s enough, most of the time…” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Look, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to … maybe I should go.” He started to get up.
     “Wait,” Nicole said. “No. It’s all right, really.” She added, “I’ve never met anyone before who owned any magic talking furniture.”
     He glanced at her hopefully, then sat back down again.
     They chatted for a long time, then she walked with him back to his apartment, and he invited her up for a drink. The apartment was small, and kind of a mess.
     “I should straighten up a bit,” said the beast.
     “No, it’s fine,” Nicole assured him. She glanced through a doorway into the kitchen. “Where’s the magic furniture?”
     He lumbered into the living room and turned on his tiny television. “That’s it.”
     She stared. “That’s just a television.”
     “It talks,” the beast said weakly.
     “But … that’s not magic at all.”
     He settled down on the couch and hung his head in his paws. “I know,” he moaned, “I haven’t got any magic furniture. I haven’t got anything.”
     “Hey,” Nicole said softly. “Don’t worry. It’ll be all right.”

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Geeks Guide to the Galaxy

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Geek's Guide to the Galaxy is a podcast hosted by author David Barr Kirtley and produced by Lightspeed Magazine editor John Joseph Adams. The show features conversations about fantasy & science … Read more

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Geek's Guide to the Galaxy is a podcast hosted by author David Barr Kirtley and produced by Lightspeed Magazine editor John Joseph Adams. The show features conversations about fantasy & science … Read more

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David Barr Kirtley

David Barr Kirtley is the host of the Geek’s Guide to the Galaxy podcast, for which he’s interviewed over four hundred guests, including George R. R. Martin, Richard Dawkins, Paul Krugman, Simon Pegg, Margaret Atwood, Neil deGrasse Tyson, and Ursula K. Le Guin. His short fiction appears in the book Save Me Plz and Other Stories.
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